i hurt so much to become a secret admire..

to you..

i'm sorry that i cried. i cried without reason. why did it is always easy to crying just because of you. and the funny thing is you don't know a thing about it. that's the risk of being a secret admire huh? my degree life has started and i tried to make myself busy just so i don't think a bit about you. i become close with someone that i proudly call a friend. although i just meet him. but still. why you always in my mind? could you answer it? i always ask Allah to take this feeling away. cause its hurt me a lot. to think that you will never know about it. my friend ask me to confess but i couldn't . i cant proceed when i know you will rejected me. please. please make this feeling go away. cause it hurt. :'(

cinta antara lelaki dan perempuan. couple? kawin? Insyaallah bermanfaat.

assalam. alhamdulilah. minggu pertama kehidupan sebagai pelajar telah bermula. kalut jugak lah kesana kemari. mana yg kne pergi HEA mne yg kne pergi jumpa KP mne yg kne pergi buat PC. mcm2 kerja first week. tu pon x settle lg. alhamdulilah berjumpa dgn kawan2 baru yg baik2 semuanya. :) ehh~ maaf melalut kejap. haha.

sebenarnya post ni nak kongsi mini series yg InsyaAllah bermanfaat. Heemmm~~ pasal ape ye? tgk tajuk lahhh. psl couple. hope bermanfaat. kalau bermanfaat kongsi2 lah pd yg lain. jika tidak. sepuluh jari maaf dipinta. :) tiada cinta antara lelaki dan perempuaan.. yg ada hanyalah cinta antara suami dan isteri.. aq pon pernah bercinta. dan x cakap pon diri ni baik. bnyak lg ilmu yg harus dituntut. sbb tu nak kongsi bende ni. merasa diri utk dicintai dan mencintai adalah fitrah. yg membezakan adalah cara kita menghadapinya.. :D

intro. :)

episode 1

episode 2

episode 3

sorii!!! link episode 4 x jumpe.. lau rajin cri sendiri yeee.. hehee.. ^^

episode 5

alaaa.. sorry.. 6 pon x jumpaaaaa.. :(

episode 7

episode 8

and x jumpa gakkkk 9!!

:)

HAPPY WATCHING YE. HOPEFULLY IA BERMANFAAT BG KORG MCM MNE IA BERMANFAAT BG SAYA. BE WELL.  ^^

to him. if you know who u are. these are words that i'll never able to say it to you.

conversation:

me: aq takut lah x kawen. dah la u aq tu llki dah ramai pupus

him: perempuan biasa risau psl jodoh. npe ek?

me: bg aq sbb llki yg nak buat suami tu dah kurang. haha.

him: jgn risau. tuhan kn da jnji pmpn baik utk llki baik. insyaAllah.

me: mmg lah kan. tp kadang2 aq pk baik ke aq nak dpt suami yg baik nnt.

him: sbb tu kne muhasabbah diri selalu perbaiki diri. mudah-mudahhan Allah bntu.

simple je kan conversation tu? from a friend to a friend without anything in mind. but u know what. i cried. like seriously cried. sbb it really touch my heart. aq x tahu knpe b4 this org tegur aq tp msuk telinga kiri keluar tlinge kanan. and kau tegur aq sikit je. Allah bukak pintu hati aq. sedangkan kita x pernah borak pon sblum ni. we know each other for few years kan. and that was our first conversation. and kau ader lead prayer time kita ramai2. thats when i felt something. perasaan tenang. aq bukan someone yg senang nak suke org mcm yg kau cakap. bukan kau sorg llki yg aq pernah jd makmum. true. aq pernah crush ngn org lain dulu. tp bukan mcm mne aq crush kat kau. aq hormat kau. and aq malu sbb aq boleh ade RASA ni dgn kau. sgt2 malu. aq mintak maaf as a friend aq x patot ader RASA ni. tp aq tahu aq mcm x layak je utk kau. sbb tu aq doa je biar Allah tu dekatkan jodoh kau dgn aq. and i told about that aren't i? but jokingly of course. haha. tp kalau mmg bukan kau jodoh aq, aq redha. atleast kau buat aq dekat dgn DIA. kan?? mungkin Allah cipta perasaan aq pd kau bia aq lebih dekat dgn DIA. but dont get me wrong. aq berubah bukan sbb kau. aq berubah sbb aq yg nak. and kau dtg utk igtkan aq je. tp sebenarnya org yg dekat dgn aq je nampak ape yg aq ubah tu. sbb aq perlu perbaiki diri kan?  :) few days later bnyak soalan pelik2 aq tnye pd kau kan. kau pon tahu tu pelik tp kau layan je. tq 4 that. kau ader ckp kat aq, kau x nak kpel2. nak cri isteri je trus. and kat u kau tu ramai dgt calon2 yg ada. ustazah pon ramai kat situ. and i said jokingly "kau belajar lah dulu, 2 tahun lg aq ngorat kau ek". haha. and you said "dah2 jgn menggedik". haha. sometimes aq rase yg kau tahu aq suka kau. but sometimes aq rase kau sgt2 clueless. but i prefer u clueless until the right time come. sbb aq x nak friendship kita hancur. 

aq cter kat mmber aq. dy ckp sbnrnya kau dah tahu. and dia ckp better aq lupakan je RASA tu and cri org lain. tp dia x tahu yg aq dah try bnyak kali utk lupa RASA itu. org kata istiharah utk kalau kita nak kawen je. tp bg aq, aq buat istiharah tu sbb if kau x baik pd aq, aq doa Allah hilangkan RASA ini. and kau tahu x tiap kali aq buat solat tu your name pop up in my fb. but i'm still not confident. sbb mungkin itu coincident. and x de kne mngene pon dgn solat yg aq buat tu. aq bukan seorang ustazah and masih bnyak yg aq kne betulkan. and i really believe in fate. and kau pon ada ckp x guna bertepuk sebelah tgn kan? insyaAllah. aq berusaha dgn berdoa agar pintu hati kau terbukak when the right time comes. if kau mmg bukan utk aq. aq yakin Allah akan tolong aq hapus RASA ni. because i pray for that. aq ader RASA ni bukan aq nak ajak kau kpel ke ape. aq dah lama dah tglkn bnde tu sume. and aq happy mcm ni. I'm just hopping you give me a chance to know u better.

good luck utk study kau. good luck utk masa depan. be well. be healthy. and till we meet again. take care. :)