3 september 2014

emm.. minggu ni last week kat rumah.. kjap je sebulan lebih cuti kan.. sbnarnya lama.. tp mcm kjap.. hehe.. anyway.. i'm glad everything back to normal.. emm.. me and him lah,, haha.. dah boleh kutuk2 balik.. friend... but still.. i'm glad..

someone pernah tnya.. aku sure ke nak tunggu dia.. x nak move on ke? emm.. truth is.. i don't know.. but one thing i'm sure is.. aq x pernah stop buat istikharah untuk tahu apa yg terbaik.. sebab aku tak pernah stop untuk doa biar Allah buang jauh2 nama kau kalau mmg kau bukan utk aku.. istikharan bukan sbb aq gatal nak kawen ye.. sila faham itu.. istikharah sbb aku yakin DIA tahu ape yg terbaik.. kalau belum masannya.. i'll wait.. have faith in Allah..

a very dear friend of mine pernah cakap.. "dont give your heart to anyone yet before you give your heart to Allah and HIS messenger".. in sha Allah everything will be okey..

24/8/2014

hari ni raya rumah amer.. hehe,, lebuh kurang mcm penutup raya lah.. lepas ni semua dah balik asal.. yg kerja.. yg belajar.. ramai yg merantau.. memang payah nak jumpa.. raya je masa nak jumpa kan? and that is the only time yg aku x payah bg alasan utk jumpa kau.. hehehe.. tp td kau xde.. kau cakap ada hal.. its ok.. rugi kau x dtg.. mak amer masak sedap.. ada laksa penag ada pulut kuning.. sedapp~~ pastu kitorg g rumah lutfi.. pon rugi kau xde.. nasi lemak mak dia sedap~~ rugi rugi..hehe.. nak thu tak.. td aku marah pika.. xde lah marah.. marah marah manja gitu.. psl gamba kita yg dia letak kat group whatspp tu.. ye lah sbb gamba kita berdua kan? aq x nak org salah anggap.. and makin awkward pulak kau nnt..dah lah sekarang ni pun kau dah jarang tegur aq (~.~) nak thu dia cakap ape? dia kata gamba kita bnyak sgt.. and gamba tu gamba paling ok sbb kita duduk jauh.. hehe.. aq igt xde org perasan..sbnrnya bukan kita berdua je dlm gamba.. ramai2.. cume kita berdekatan.. raya tahun lepas.. kalaulah kau pon nampak.. tp mustahil kau nmpak.. sbb kau anggap aku kawan kan? sampai kau cakap kalau kau kawen nnt aq diantara org yg kena datang.. mungkin aq dtg.. hari bahagia kau kan? xkan aq x dtg hari bahagia org yg aku syg,, ^^

gathering rumah amerr.. tp kau xde..

open house rumah aq.. tq jd org first yg sampai..

kenangan yg aku x kan pernah lupa.. raya 2013.. thats the beginning..

18/8/2014

salam..

today i got a text from my friend congratulated me for not being single. hahaha. i laugh out infront of my other friend . perhaps the friend was mistaken with my post or whatever i been writing here and there. dear friend. the post was not about being accepted but its the other way round. i'm being rejected. well~~~ again. but i'm alright. hoping to be alright. pray to be alright. perhaps being single suited me more? at this time lah. haha.

p/s: i'm wondering if i could make a cupcake and added a message "peace no war" and give it to him. how bout it? ohh~~ btw, that person change his relationship status to "married" a day after "that" day..haha.. can't you be moreeee obvious that you have to delete that post so that no one can comment it? if that the gesture to show that you really really rejected me, well~~ its a big success..

dear mr M.N.E. bin H

percaya tak kalau kita cuba utk redha dgn segala qada' dan qadar kita akan lebih mudah nak hadapi hal tersebut.. 

aku redha.. clishe huh?! hais.. nama pon blog sendri.. bukan ada org baca pon.. nak cakap kat diri sndri je.. aku rasa ni first time kot aku suka orang bukan sbb aku suka.. erk? apa punya ayat lah kan?? first time aq rasa something bila kau imamkan solat ramai2 time raya tahu lepas.. second time kau buat aku makin adore kau bila kau tegur aq dgn cara yg sangat lembut.. aku pernah cakap kan.. aku tkt, sbb aq x thu baik ke aku untuk dapat suami yg baik.. kau yg suruh aq muhasabah diri selalu untuk tahu jwpannya.. dan tiap kali aq tnya kau soalan mesti kau bg jawapan yg mendekatkan diri aku pd Allah.. setahun tu kejap je kan.. setahun aq try suka kau snyap2.. pandang kau dari jauh.. selitkan nama kau dlm setiap doa aq.. and i've been doing that for a year now.. percaya lah bila aku cakap yg aku selalu jugak doa biar  rasa ni hilang kalau hati kau mmg x kan terbukak untuk aku..aq mintak kat DIA.. selalu.. tp rasa tu x hilang.. mcm mana? hati ni milik DIA.. DIA mampu buat apa sahaja dgn hati ni.. kalau aq boleh cakap.. aq dah mntak kau doakan biar aku hilang rasa suka kat kau..

then, few days ago aku mcm dapat keberanian untuk confess kat kau.. memalukan ek girl confess kat boy? tp x bg aku..aku dah buat solat macam2 b4 aq confess kat kau tu..sbb aku bukan nak ajak kau bercinta.. aku cume nak peluang utk knl kau.. as a friend.. maksd aku bila aku cakap aku sanggup tunggu kau is aku sanggup tunggu kau sampai kot2 Allah nak bukakan pintu hati kau untuk aku or smpai kau jumpa someone yg kau suka.. aku sanggup.. but then... kau mcm dah awkward dgn aku.. kenapa? x boleh ke kau pura2 yg nothing happen? sbb bila kita mcm ni.. it hurt more that before..

mr E.. if you are really not for me.. Allah maha mengetahui.. tp aq x kan stop utk berdoa.. sbb jodoh itu rahsia DIA.. 

A talk..

Today i had a conversation with my friend

Me: aq nak dia tahu ada org suka dia

Friend: aku tahu kau nak ad org care psl kau kan.?

Me: tak lah. Aku x nak pon dia care psl aku.

Friend: dah tu buat ape kau nak ckp kat dia kat suka dia kalau kau x nak ada pape dgn dia?

Me: aku nak dia thu ada org suka dia tp aku x nak dia tahu org tu aku. And aku sanggup tunggu smpai habes blaja baru aku bg thu. Buat msa ni, ni je la usaha aku. Aq x nak rpat dgn dia. Aku nak pandang dia dari jauh je.

Friend: kot2 time tu dia dah ad girlfrind cmne?

Me: aku x ksh. Sbb aku dah usaha. Time tu, mungkin dia bukan jodoh aku.

To them..

Pernah x rasa mcm kau dah buat silap? I mean bukan silap yg mcm biasa tu. I think i made a wrong decision. Bukan aq x suka keadaan tu. Just. I dont know how to say it. Sbb bnda ni aq yg mulakan. I did became a cupid for them. It just... I love to see them like that but i don't like them acting like that. Jangan. Please jangan. Aq tahu korang tgh bahagia. Siapa x bahagiakan? Ade org care, ad org syang.. Tp please.. Jgn tunjuk sangat.. Bukan jgn tunjuk.. Tp jgn tunjuk SANGAT..  Biar korg je tahu yg korg bahagia.. Please ? I dont know how to explain. But, kalau snang sgt kau tnjuk yg kau bahagia.. Senang jugak org nampak bila kau x bahagia nnt.. Because i've been there..

i love you.. maher zain..

cari DIA..
sbb DIA ada sentiasa..

cari DIA..
kau akan tenang..

cari DIA..
walau hanya mampu bertatih..
dan x mampu berlari..

cari DIA..
dia akan tunggu..
selama mana pun..
tapi..
bila terlalu lama..
jgn sampai terlambat..

cari DIA..
kalau kau nak bahagia..



"I Love You So"

I pray to God
My heart, soul, and body
Every single day of my life
With every breath I solemnly promise
To try to live my life for you

O Allah, You did revive my soul
And shone Your light into my heart
So pleasing You is now my only goal
Oh I love You so
I love You so (I love You so)

[Chorus:]
Now I know how it’s like
To have a precious love in my life
Now I know how it feels
To finally be at peace inside
I wish that everybody knew
How amazing it feels to love You
I wish that everyone could see
How Your love has set me free
Set me free and made me strong

O Allah, I’m forever grateful to You
Whatever I say could never be enough
You gave me strength to overcome my uncertainties
And stand firm against all the odds

You are the one who did revive my soul
You shone Your light into my heart
So pleasing You is now my only goal
Oh I love You so
I love You so (I love You so)

[Chorus]

My love, my life, my days, my nights, my wealth, my prayers – all for You [x2]
And I swear that I will never put anyone or anything before You
My love, my life, my days, my nights, my wealth, my prayers – all for You

[Chorus]

aku masih lagi bertatih..

cuba merangkak..

x mampu berlari..